I was alone with pa at home that night. We were meeting a lawyer - Vin's ex -schoolmate, settling for mum's belongings.
We were discussing at the living hall, talking about a lot of things... Finally pa voiced out about Ms. K's presence. He asked me about my opinion about their relationship.
At that moment, I have had told him frankly that I don't like it. I told him that I feel disappointed with him on what he had done to me and how he had handled the whole situation was ridiculous. I cried out. I told everything that had bottled up in my heart all this while. I told him that I am not accepting their relationship and the way he makes her presence felt was so hurt to me. I confronted him why he wanted to make everyone feels her presence, why he would wanted to bring her along to any family occasion and relatives' dinner. I made known to him that I hate the way how he had manage the whole situation. I blamed him on making me feel hurtful, making me feel embarrassed in front of closed friends and making me feel disrespect as a daughter. He is not putting his shoes on mind, he is not trying to understand my feeling...
I was so harsh that evening. I have make myself clear that I couldn't accept their relationship now. And I have made known to pa, that please do not try to do funny things in front of me again like bringing this Ms K along to wherever the family gathering or whatsoever with my presence. I told me that I will need to to heal as well to accept. I even told pa that I regretted so much on my decision to go back Guangzhou with him. I even told him that I am thinking of forgo the flight tickets and stay back in KL. I would rather waste off the money than putting myself in such a difficult situation, not knowing how sad and painful it would be in the few days trip.
Pa was so shock knowing my intention. Pa was tearing listening to me. Now, only he knew how painful he had made me. He apologized and he asked for forgiveness. He is giving me time to accept and he promised that he would not force me or trying to be pushy anymore. He knew that his aggressiveness had me build up a wall between us. He is sorry and he hugged me... He promised that he would ask my opinion in future, if to bring Ms K along in any occasion with my presence. He would not put me in the embarrassment and he said sorry again...
I do not know, if my confession is painful to pa... But i feel a lot more lighter now. As least, I have no more nightmares about this lady anymore. I am not dreaming on how she breaks my family anymore.
This confession maybe painful to pa, I am sorry. But dad, I need more time...
